Nervous

I'm feeling worried about getting the results of my genetic testing back.

We've been through so much, I'm not sure I can handle any more bad news. I'm worried that our MTHFR (both my husbands and mine) has affected the DNA of our sex genes, and that at conception there was something wrong, as we hadn't been on 5-methylfolate for very long at that stage.

I'm most worried about Downs Syndrome. Not so much about Edwards and Patau. I've had Patau before (reason for one of the miscarriages), what happened then is the fetus size was significantly smaller than it should have been based on our dates. This happened with a number of our other miscarriages we didn't have tested, so I assumed they also had a syndrome. The history of syndromes fits with our MTHFR profile. That's why I'm worried. 

This time our fetus is the right measurements. Because of that I assume it not to have Edwards or Patau, as they are the worst and would either have miscarried by now, or be small. Not sure about Downs, feel I'm kind of high risk, especially at my age (40). I'm thinking it will either have Downs or be normal. 

Please, please, please let it be normal. I'm not sure I can handle any more. Really, I don't think I can. 

If this pregnancy fails, it's time to call it a day. 

Sigh. 

Exhausted thinking about it. Big breath.